ACT II
At rise of curtain enter PROCESSION OF JAPANESE LADIES being the train engaged by IMARI for the attendance of his bride.
They walk round in procession followed by MEN, and finally take places as though waiting for BRIDE.
OPENING CHORUS
Day born of love,
Of gladness and delight
Your moments soon invite to mystic marriage rite!
Thron’d high above
O Tento Sama shines.
And laughing, he divines a lover’s sweet designs!
O-hayo! O-hayo!
Moon by night and sun by day
Tender beam and blazing ray!
O-hayo! O-hayo!
Watch and ward o’er lovers keep!
Day to drink of pleasures deep
Night for rest and gentle sleep
Night for rest and gentle sleep.
Day born of love,
Of gladness and delight
Your moments soon invite to mystic marriage rite!
Politely dress’d
In all our best
The wedding we await,
And hope they won’t be late,
Or else forget the date.
What would be done if either one
Neglected to appear?
If somebody demurr’d
Or anything ocurr’d
With all to interfere?
Before our eyes the prospect lies
Of rich and festive fare,
With cups of sake rare
To toast the happy pair.
No wonder then that maids and men
Unite in Hymen’s praise,
And sing their joyous lays
With blushes all ablaze.
4 GEISHA exeunt. Enter NAMI, principal attendant to the bride. Enter IMARI from Palace. The CHORUS all kow-tow.
IMARI.
(To NAMI)
Now tell me, how fares it with my sweet bride? Does she ask for me?
NAMI.
No, Most Noble. She does not seem conscious of the honour in store for her. In fact, she says she dislikes you very much.
IMARI.
That’s not unusual when a girl marries for exalted social position.
NAMI.
But she says she won’t marry you.
IMARI.
She’s coy. She’ll outgrow that when she comes to know me at my true worth.
NAMI.
Most Noble’s charms will no doubt win her over.
IMARI.
They have never failed before, and I’ve had a lot of experience.
NAMI.
Here she comes.
Enter MOLLY from Pavilion, gloriously dressed in Japanese clothes and attended by 2 LADIES. She is petulant and tries to escape them. NAMI goes towards her.
NAMI.
There is your anxious bridegroom.
MOLLY.
Bridegroom! I’m not going to marry.
IMARI.
You are going to marry! All girls marry, it is the natural finish to a spinster’s education.
MOLLY.
Is it? Then marry the bridesmaids, I don’t love you.
IMARI.
I didn’t say love. I said marriage, that’s quite a different thing. Now, my dear, I’m going to be your husband, and to make you the most important lady in these parts, and what can any girl want more?
MOLLY.
I don’t want more – I want less. I don’t want you!
(CHORUS titter)
IMARI.
(Aside)
That’s her maidenly modesty, pretending she doesn’t care for me.
(To MOLLY)
I understand – you don’t want to appear too affectionate before a crowd.
MOLLY.
That’s it, Marquis. I hate it!
IMARI.
(To BRIDESMAIDS)
Just like me. Ladies, turn your heads the other way.
(CHORUS turn round with a bird-like jump. Approaching MOLLY affectionately)
Now, my dearest, I’ve heard so much about your English custom, the salute – the kiss. Will you give me an English kiss?
MOLLY.
Oh yes, I’ll give you one!
(Bus. slap on face)
IMARI.
Is that an English kiss?
MOLLY.
Yes – have another?
IMARI.
No, thank you, I don’t think much of it. It’s not the way it was described to me. Come now, I’m going to make you as happy as a lark.
MOLLY.
Yes, I know – as happy as a lark in a pudding. I want to be a lark that can fly away.
IMARI.
But you’ll never want to leave me when we are married,
MOLLY.
No! I want to leave you before!
IMARI.
Now, my poppett…
(Moves towards MOLLY. Bus. MOLLY raises her hand to slap IMARI’S face, then goes up stage.)
Don’t kiss me again!
(Turns to go)
I’m not sure that I’ve made such a good bargain after all.
(Kisses hand to her)
We shall meet once more, sweet blossom, and after that nothing shall ever part us - until I get tired of you.
(Half exit, and then return to BRIDESMAIDS)
Ladies, you can turn round again.
(CHORUS jump back)
You haven’t missed much!
(Exit into Palace)
MOLLY.
I’m not going to marry that old fossil if I know it!
(To NAMI)
Tell me, what can he do?
NAMI.
Whatever he pleases. His will is law here.
MOLLY.
Is it? Then a pretty muddle I’ve got into!
SONG – MOLLY & CHORUS
Poor little maiden, loves a bit of fun,
Learns her propensity to rue!
Just look at me! What a pretty thing I’ve done!
Here’s a delightful how-de do!
A precious pickle I’m in!
Foolish little Molly,
Punish’d for your folly.
A wooden monkey climbin’
Isn’t on a stick like you!
Click! Click!
I’m a monkey on a stick!
Any one with me can play,
And my antics he’ll enjoy,
Till he finds a newer toy,
When he’ll wish me a polite good day!
CHORUS.
Click, click… etc.
MOLLY.
Nobody doubts that this horrid Japanese
Wives – orientally – has got!
One, two, or three – or as many as you please -
I won’t be added to the lot!
He thinks I can’t resist him;
Rolling in his riches,
Fancies he bewitches,
But round my thumb I’ll twist him,
Whether he’s aware or not!
Click! Click!
He’s a monkey on a stick!
Bound to let me have my way!
So I’ll keep him all alive
Till my English friends arrive,
When I’ll wish him a polite good day!
CHORUS.
Click, click… etc.
Dance, and exeunt ALL. Enter WUN-HI and JULIETTE. They are both shabby and look down in the world.
WUN-HI.
What we do now? Tea House gone – licence gone – girlee gone – me gone off my upper crust! I hopee Marquis take pitee on poor ruined Chinaman!
JULIETTE.
And poor ruined French girl!
WUN-HI.
It makee no matter you – you very well, thank you. You not losee a Tea House licence!
JULIETTE.
No, but I’ve lost a lot of other things! If only I could get the English girl back to her friends, they would pay me well.
WUN-HI.
I helpee you with Marquis – then English officer givee me plenty much large size lump money. Then you partners with Wun-Hi, and we start new Tea House.
JULIETTE.
I don’t want a silly Tea House! But I do want to know how to get the Marquis. And I think I know how…
DUET – JULIETTE and WUN-HI
JULIETTE.
When I want anything done,
I try my favourite plan,
I weedle and coax,
And flatter the folks,
As only a French girl can.
If ever I chanced on one
Who won’t be coaxed by me,
I peep and pry,
And I work on the sly -
Comprenez-vous ca?
WUN-HI.
Wee! Wee!
BOTH.
Oh, chi-kee-hi-kee ching-a-ring-a-ree!
The smart French girl and the cute Chinee!
Monsieur, Mam’selle
Suite very very well,
So sing
Ching-a-ring
Ching-a-ring-a-ring-a-ree!
WUN-HI.
When me want gettee my way,
Keep muchee open eyes;
For Chinaman mild,
Him welly sharp child -
Tell plenty big whopper lies!
JULIETTE.
Together we’ll work to-day,
You’re just the man for me!
A girl never jibs
At a few little fibs –
Comprenez-vous ca?
WUN-HI.
Wee! Wee!
BOTH.
Oh, chi-kee-hi-kee ching-a-ring-a-ree! etc.
Dance. After duet, enter IMARI from Palace.
IMARI.
What is all this noise? How dare you intrude here without permission?
WUN-HI.
Me didn’t mean to protrude.
IMARI.
Hullo, French girl, what are you doing here?
JULIETTE.
Nothing!
IMARI.
Then don’t do it!
WUN-HI.
Most Monumental – more More Noble than usual – Greatee Marquis, listen! Givee back Wun-Hi Tea-House…
IMARI.
Don’t bother me now. I have a very busy day before me. First of all, there’s the reception – that will keep me busy – then there’s the banquet, that will keep me very busy – then there’s the wedding – that will keep me very very busy!
JULIETTE.
The Chinaman will be useful to you at the wedding.
IMARI.
So he might. Come here. Look here, I will give you a chance. You shall be allowed to look after the geisha at my reception and see that they do their best – you will be paid nothing!
WUN-HI.
Thank you very most muchee, me do my best at the price!
Exit IMARI into Palace, followed by WUN-HI and JULIETTE. Enter OFFICERS.
QUARTETTE –OFFICERS
GRIMSTON.
Half round the world we’ve been, my boys,
On pleasure and on duty,
At ev’ry port we’ve known the joys
Of some bewitching beauty!
CUNNINGHAM.
The simple maid from sunny France,
Who blush’d and seemed to falter,
The Spanish girl we met by chance
When strolling through Gibraltar.
BRONVILLE.
Give me a girl from any clime,
And I’ll adore her for a time!
ALL.
Jolly young Jacks are we,
Merry of heart and gay!
Sons of the rolling sea,
Homage to beauty pay.
What if her eyes are dark?
What if her eyes are blue?
Beauty is fair, ev’rywhere,
If Beauty’s the girl for you!
GRIMSTON.
We’ve seen all sorts of sizes, too,
Some rather quaintly dress’d ones;
But give me eyes of English blue,
Believe me, they’re the best ones!
CUNNINGHAM.
That Chinese girl I couldn’t stand
With feet of small dimensions,
Or Gretchen from the Fatherland.
Who ask’d us our intentions.
GRIMSTON.
Well, any you don’t care about
Pass on to me – I’ll take them out!
ALL.
Jolly young Jacks are we, etc.
Enter LADY CONSTANCE and GIRLS.
MARIE.
We can’t find Molly anywhere!
LADY C.
When we left the Tea House yesterday we went into the city to the hotel; she didn’t come so we thought she had gone straight to the yacht, but she hadn’t!
FAIRFAX.
She hadn’t! We must go at once to the British Consul and the police.
LADY C.
Ah! The Marquis Imari is chief of the police here. I’m going to see him at once.
(Goes towards Palace.)
Enter JULIETTE from Palace.
JULIETTE.
The English visitors! Ah, you have come to find your friend Miss Molly?
LADY C.
Yes, where is she?
JULIETTE.
She is here – in the Palace.
LADY C.
Here? I knew she was invited to the wedding with the rest of us – but –
JULIETTE.
(Laughs)
Invited to the wedding? She is the wedding!
LADY C.
The what?
JULIETTE.
(In mock respectful tones)
The most Miraculous Marquis has chosen her for his bride.
They form a group and talk excitedly.
FAIRFAX.
His bride? The Marquis Imari is not going to marry this English lady!
CUNNINGHAM.
Of course not.
LADY C.
I’ll see the Marquis and tell him that we shall take her away at once.
JULIETTE.
He will not be frightened. Japanese are not frightened even of earthquakes.
FAIRFAX.
It is ridiculous!
JULIETTE.
But it is not ridiculous! The Marquis has permission from the Government to marry a geisha.
FAIRFAX.
Yes, I know that, and Lady Constance bought her away from him.
JULIETTE.
Lady Constance bought Mimosa, but there was another geisha – the one who sang the song…
(Bus.)
FAIRFAX.
Yes, yes, I remember her – very clever, she was!
JULIETTE.
Well, she was your Miss Seamore.
FAIRFAX.
Molly Seamore?
JULIETTE.
Yes, she did it because you made her jealous of Mimosa. And the most marvellous Marquis bought her; and he is going to marry her to-day.
FAIRFAX.
What nonsense!
JULIETTE.
Marriage is not nonsense!
(Exits)
LADY C.
I’ll find that Marquis – he won’t think himself quite so marvellous when I’ve done with him.
(Exit.)
OFFICERS and LADIES stroll off, except CUNNINGHAM, FAIRFAX and GRIMSTON.
CUNNINGHAM.
Do you know, I believe this girl, Reggie? I think we ought to see to this at once. We don’t know the laws of Japan, and Molly may be in danger.
GRIMSTON.
Well, we’ll go and see about it at once. You wait here, Reggie, and see what you can find out.
(Exit with CUNNINGHAM.)
FAIRFAX.
Molly, my Molly, if I could only help her! How can I wait when the girl I love is in danger!
SONG – FAIRFAX
How can I wait – when she I worship only
Friendless and fair, my help may surely need?
How can I wait, and leave her sad and lonely,
Counting the hours that all too slowly speed?
Earth has no grace that does not cling about her,
Life has no charm, if mine she may not be;
Star of my soul! I cannot live without her;
O grant this day may give her back to me!
Dream, O my dearest, till we meet once more,
Daydreams of happiness again in store.
Dream of a future that our fates may hold,
Pass’d in the wonderland of love untold.
Glory of flow’rs and fairyland around me,
Over my path the joyous sunlight falls;
Yes is my dear, whose charms so fast have bound me,
Caged like a bird within those gilded walls.
Would I could break the cruel bonds that hold her,
Snap ev’ry chain that keeps us two apart!
Star of my soul! – the half I have not told her,
Of all the love that fills my beating heart!
Dream, O my dearest, till we meet once more, etc.
Exit FAIRFAX.
Enter MIMOSA, carrying parasol.
MIMOSA.
I wonder where the English lady is? She has been very kind to Mimosa, and has given me some advice too about my officer gentleman.
(Laughs)
English ladies are very clever, but Japanese girls know as much as they do about foreign officers!
SONG – MIMOSA
A small Japanese
Once sat at her ease
In a garden cool and shady,
When a foreigner gay
Who was passing that way,
Said “May I come in, young lady?”
So she opened her gate,
And I blush to relate
That he taught Japan’s fair daughter
To flirt and kiss
Like the little white Miss
Who lives o’er the Western water!
He call’d her the Jewel of Asia – of Asia – of Asia,
But she was the Queen of the Geisha – the Geisha – the Geisha;
So she laughed, “Though you’re ready to-day, sir,
To flirt when I flutter my fan,
Tomorrow you’ll go on your way, sir,
Forgetting the girl of Japan!”
But when he came back
(Alas and alack!)
To that garden cool and shady,
The foreigner bold
Was decidedly cold
And talked of an English lady.
With his heart in a whirl
For the little white girl,
He declar’d how much he missed her,
And forgot – if you please! –
His poor Japanese,
For he never even kissed her!
But she was the Jewel of Asia – of Asia – of Asia,
The beautiful Queen of the Geisha – the Geisha – the Geisha;
And she laughed, “It is just as they say, sir,
You love for as long as you can,
A month or a week or a day, sir,
Will do for a girl of Japan.”
At end of song, FAIRFAX enters mournfully.
MIMOSA.
(Earnestly)
Ah, my English officer!
FAIRFAX.
Ah, my little Mimosa!
MIMOSA.
You are unhappy! Can Mimosa help you?
FAIRFAX.
I don’t know – perhaps you can. You see, this Marquis Imari has made a prisoner of my little English girl and talks about marrying her. Can you take me to her?
MIMOSA.
(Pensively)
I’m afraid not. You know it is a Japanese custom no one sees a bride except her own ladies.
FAIRFAX.
But you can find some way of seeing her!
MIMOSA.
Mimosa will try her best for the English officer who has been so good to her.
FAIRFAX.
You will succeed. Tell her that I am here, and will save her, no matter what happens.
(Enter CUNNINGHAM with WUN-HI)
Do that, little woman, and I’ll never forget you!
(Shakes her hand, bus.)
CUNNINGHAM.
Well, Reggie, any news of Molly?
FAIRFAX.
Yes, Mimosa is going to help us and turn the tables on the Marquis.
WUN-HI.
Me helpee you too, we all helpee each other. If we all stick together we make Marquis look one large dammee foolee!
CUNNINGHAM.
How?
MIMOSA.
If you’ll listen, Mimosa will tell you
(To WUN-HI)
Go away, you’re not in this.
WUN-HI.
Tellee me – me mallied!
MIMOSA.
Mimosa will play a trick on the Marquis.
WUN-HI.
Tickle the Marquis?
MIMOSA.
And just when he thinks he is going to married, he will find that he has no bride.
WUN-HI.
No blide! Then he’ll be a spinster!
MIMOSA.
No, no. The wrong bride, that’s all – Juliette!
FAIRFAX.
What a splendid plan! I say, I wonder what this Marquis will do when he finds out?
CUNNINGHAM.
I don’t suppose it will matter much to him, one girl is very like another in the dark!
QUARTETTE – MIMOSA, FAIRFAX,
CUNNINGHAM and WUN-HI
FAIRFAX.
When he finds that his dear little lovebird’s gone,
Oh, what will the Marquis do?
Will he fly into a rage,
Or fill an empty cage
With another little bird or two?
CUNNINGHAM.
He’ll vow that the ceremony must go on
With some little girl or other
And I fancy he’ll admit
That he doesn’t mind a bit;
For one of them is very like another!
ALL.
Oh, what will he do and what will he say?
Will his language be improper in a Japanesey way?
He may do what he likes, he may say what he thinks,
But we’ll pop a little stopper on his jolly jolly jinks!
MIMOSA.
When he finds that his dear little bride has fled,
Oh, what will the Marquis do?
If he isn’t too upset
He’ll marry Juliette,
And adore her for a month or two!
WUN-HI.
Me think that he breakee-breakee Wun-Hi’s head
Some bad lucky day or other!
If no beatee me with stick
Then he givee me a kick
But one of them is welly like another!
ALL.
Oh, what will he do and what will he say? etc.
Dance and exeunt ALL except WUN-HI. Enter LADY CONSTANCE.
LADY C.
This is a terrible position. His wife in half an hour, and the Marquis is nowhere to be found! There are not enough of us to rescue her by force, and there is not time to return to the city and appeal to the Consul. What on earth are we to do?
During bus. re-enter MIMOSA.
WUN-HI.
Oh, most mountainous lady, me wantee favour of great big lady!
LADY C.
What do you want?
WUN-HI.
(Kneeling)
Lend me her Number One Geisha – O Mimosa San.
LADY C.
What for?
WUN-HI.
Wun-Hi provides all festivities for noble Marquis’s wedding. O Mimosa San, she be a festivity. Wante hee Mimosa to make sing-song at most noble Marquis’s wedding.
LADY C.
Certainly not. The Marquis is the last person in the world I’d do a favour for.
MIMOSA.
Yes, do let Mimosa sing at the wedding, please!
LADY C.
Now, my dear little Mimosa, what do you want to sing for?
MIMOSA.
Because that is how I can rescue the English girl. We must be more cunning than the Marquis, and now I think I see how to – Mimosa has many friends in there.
Enter JULIETTE.
JULIETTE.
And one friend here.
MIMOSA.
Ah, the French girl. You do not want the Marquis to marry a pretty English girl?
JULIETTE.
Oh no, the most prodigious Marquis can do much better than that!
MIMOSA.
French girl would like the Marquis for herself.
JULIETTE.
French mousmé cannot do better than that.
MIMOSA.
Well, who knows?
(Pushing JULIETTE off).
Do what Mimosa tells you, and you may find yourself a Marchioness before the day is over.
JULIETTE.
A Marquise!
(Exit)
WUN-HI.
Oh do, most mighty atom – do!
MIMOSA.
Please, lady!
LADY C.
Very well, we can’t be in a much worse position that we are.
(To WUN-HI)
I’ll lend you the girl. But see that she does not go back to that Japanese Steam-roller.
(Exit.)
WUN-HI.
Chinaman plenty much grateful. Hip, hip hullay!
(Rubs hands together)
Get back Number One geisha makee please Marquis, get back Tea House licence! Hip, hip hullay!
Exit WUN-HI with MIMOSA. Enter GUARDS – enter in procession the BRIDESMAIDS attended by the MEN – all singing.
JAPANESE MARCH
CHORUS.
Koi-wa-se-ni sumu,
Tori-wa ki-ni tomaru,
Hito-wa nasake-no
Kage.
Koi-wa-se-ni sumu,
Tori-wa ki-ni tomaru,
Hito-wa nasake-no
Kage, Kage, Kage, Kage-ni.
TAKEMINI places them as music finishes – chairs are brought on for the English – the Japs squat. TAKEMINI has entered during music and taken his post at principal entrance.
TAKEMINI.
The English visitors!
(Enter ENGLISH PARTY. LADIES sit, OFFICERS stand behind.)
The Marquis Imari!
(Bus. salute)
The Japs prostrate themselves. Enter IMARI and JULIETTE.
TAKEMINI.
The Chief Geisha of our Court will greet the Marquis.
(Enter 4 GEISHA with samisens. They sing.)
ENTRANCE OF GEISHA
With splendour auspicious, O sunbeams illumine the day,
With perfumes delicious, O flowers make fragrant the way.
O Zephyrs, go carry our songs to the Master of Might,
Who cometh to marry the Rose of his fancy’s delight!
Sing sweetly and shrilly
O twittering birds of the air,
Than lilac or lily
The bride is more daintily fair.
From hill and from valley,
The echoes are greeting the day
With soft fal-lal-lally
And tender fal-lal-lal-lal-lay!
And tender fal-lal-lal-lal-lay!
With splendour auspicious, etc.
IMARI.
A most satisfactory reception. It is wonderful how popular I am when I give the banquet myself and make all the arrangements in my honour. Welcome one and all to this, my latest and greatest wedding!
SONG – IMARI
IMARI.
Then come and join the beautiful feast
It isn’t the time to tarry.
CHORUS.
It isn’t the time to tarry.
IMARI.
For all the best of West and of East
Is spread on the day I marry.
CHORUS.
Is spread on the day I marry.
IMARI.
So follow me in and lift the latch,
And drink good health to the present match,
And clear the board with a happy despatch,
That isn’t a hari-kari!
CHORUS.
That isn’t a hari-kari!
IMARI.
Then merrily pour a glass of champagne,
I’ve tried it before, I’ll try it again,
I’ll try it
As diet,
I’ll try it
I’ll try it again!
CHORUS.
He’ll try it as diet – he’s tried it before,
And he’ll try it again, and he’ll try it, he’ll try it again!
IMARI.
Perhaps you British think me a brute,
In your manner philanthropic.
CHORUS.
In your manner philanthropic.
IMARI.
At present I must decline dispute
On the marriage problem topic.
CHORUS.
On the marriage problem topic.
IMARI.
I grant experience may have shown,
That taking one wife and one alone
Is very well in the temperate zone,
But I am a trifle tropic!
CHORUS.
But I am a trifle tropic!
IMARI.
From having one more why should I refrain,
I’ve done it before, I’ll do it again,
I’ll do it
Go thro’ it,
I’ll do it
I’ll do it again!
CHORUS.
He’ll do it, go thro’ it - he’s done it before,
And he’ll do it again, and he’ll do it, he’ll do it again!
IMARI.
For why should a dainty English girl
A silly young British kiss -
CHORUS.
A silly young British kiss -
IMARI.
When she can marry a belted Earl
Or a most magnificent “Mar-kiss”?
CHORUS.
Or a most magnificent “Mar-kiss”?
IMARI.
She may be skittish and make a scene,
But I shall smile in a style serene,
And she will be as the rest have been,
As willing as any Barkis.
CHORUS.
As willing as any Barkis.
IMARI.
For when I adore, it is not in vain,
I’ve been there before, I’m going again,
I’m going
So knowing,
I’m going
I’m going again!
CHORUS.
He’s going so knowing – he’s been there before,
And he’s going again, and he’s going, he’s going again!
IMARI.
I’m going, I’m going, I’m going again!
After number, enter WUN-HI, who forces his way past TAKEMINI and OTHERS, who try to keep him out.
TAKEMINI.
Most noble Marquis, the Chinaman is here.
IMARI.
All right, admit him!
WUN-HI.
There, you see, me got Marquis’ permission! How do you do, foleign female devils. Me dancee and singee my life story for you. Then me go round with hattee!
SONG & DANCE – WUN-HI and CHORUS
WUN-HI.
Chinaman no money makee
Allo lifee long!
Washee washee once me takee,
Washee washee wrong!
When me thinkee stealee collars
P’licee mannee come;
Me get finee fivee dollars,
Plenty muchee such!
Chin Chin Chinaman
Muchee muchee sad,
Me afraid
Allo trade
Wellee welle bad!
No-ee joke
Brokee broke
Makee shuttee shop
Chin chin chinaman
Chop, chop chop!
CHORUS.
Chin Chin Chinaman, etc.
WUN-HI.
When me gette catchee cheatee
Playing piecee card,
Chinaman they allo beatee
Kickee welly hard!
When me takee nicee placee
Makee plenty tea,
Gettee me in more disgracee,
Up they sellee me!
Chin Chin Chinaman, etc.
CHORUS.
Chin Chin Chinaman, etc.
Dance and exit.
TAKEMINI.
Most noble Marquis, a fortune teller craves an audience.
ALL.
A fortune teller! What fun!
IMARI.
Send her away – I don’t like fortune tellers.
ENGLISH PARTY rise and cross to MARQUIS.
ALL.
Oh, do let us see her!
LADY C.
Oh, Marquis, do have her in!
IMARI.
That’s all very well for you, you are not in a hurry – you are not going to be married.
LADY C.
Now don’t refuse now, or we’ll never come to your wedding again.
IMARI.
I’m suspicious of fortune tellers. Besides, they know such a lot.
LADY C.
Now you must say yes – do!
IMARI.
Well, as you are my guests, I can refuse you nothing.
(To TAKEMINI)
Send her in.
ENGLISH PARTY return to seats.
TAKEMINI.
Oyuki, the fortune teller!
Melos. Excitement. Enter MIMOSA, disguised. She carries a small box.
MIMOSA.
(Mysteriously through melos)
Within this box secrets lie hidden. Fate has filled it with good omens and disasters. Fortunes are concealed in it, and misfortunes. Here –
(tapping the box)
are riches and ruin. You may draw the lot of success or calamity. Who will consult Oyuki’s box of fate?
CUNNINGHAM.
Have you plenty of good fortune in your box?
MIMOSA.
To-day the fates are propitious in honour of Most Noble’s marriage.
IMARI.
That’s very kind of the fates.
MIMOSA.
So to-day the box is full of good fortune. But there’s one black fate – all the others are rosy. Try!
(Offers box)
LADY C.
If that’s so, we’ll consult your oracle.
(Approaching MIMOSA)
ALL.
Oh, yes, we’ll all try!
MIMOSA.
Remember that the one black fate is very black indeed. There will be no light on the life of him on whom the lot shall fall.
IMARI.
Did you see the way she looked at me? I knew I shouldn’t like this woman – she gives me the creeps. Send her away.
LADY C.
Surely, Marquis, you needn’t be afraid to try your luck. And on your wedding day, too!
IMARI.
I don’t know.
MIMOSA.
The most Noble’s exalted position places him above such adversity.
IMARI.
That’s true. Fate never does much harm to a magistrate. Go on!
LADY C.
Now girls!
ALL the ENGLISH PARTY crowd round MIMOSA and draw lots from the box, which she reads.
MIMOSA.
A lover from over the seas - rank and riches – hope fulfilled – fame and rewards – health and happiness – honoured old age…
CUNNINGHAM.
Oh, thanks, that’s awfully jolly!
MIMOSA.
Stay! Stay!
(As they draw the lots too eagerly)
There will be none left for the Most Noble…
IMARI.
I don’t want any, thank you. I’m all right.
LADY C.
Oh, but you must take one, Marquis!
MIMOSA.
The fortune-teller’s reputation would suffer if the Most Noble refuses.
(Prostrates herself before him and offers box.)
IMARI.
(Taking lot)
Well, there’s only one left – so it’s not much risk.
Here goes.
(Takes card handed by MIMOSA. Music chord in orchestra. Melos continues through scene.)
What’s that?
(Throws card down.)
MIMOSA.
The Black Fate!
(Throws card down.)
ALL.
The Black Fate!
IMARI.
(Shaking in fright)
The Black Fate! What does it mean.
MIMOSA.
It foreshadows immediate misery.
IMARI.
Thanks. Anything else?
MIMOSA.
The fortune teller cannot exactly say how the misfortune will come, but all your possessions will go from you, pain will rack your every bone, you will be deprived of your rank and you will become hateful in the eyes of every woman.
IMARI.
(In agony)
I’m rather sorry you called. Anything else?
MIMOSA.
Your equals will despise you, your inferiors jeer at you, until, a pauper dishonoured and disgraced, you will at last meet with terror and anguish a horrible doom!
(Chord in orchestra. Music stops.)
IMARI.
(Prostrate on ground)
Why did I let this fiend come here? I feel myself becoming mildewed all over!
(To MIMOSA)
Is there no antidote?
Melos to MIMOSA’S exit.
MIMOSA.
Yes, there is one.
IMARI.
What is it?
MIMOSA.
It is written in the prophecy that if the one on whom the Black Fate has fallen be truly loved by a young bride, his punishment shall be turned to pleasure, his horrible doom to a life of delight.
IMARI.
(Groaning)
Oh!
MIMOSA.
(Insinuatingly)
Does most Noble’s young bride truly love him?
IMARI.
(Groaning)
She says she hates the very ground I walk on! Can’t you do anything for me?
MIMOSA.
I might. The fortune-teller has a love spell with her which she can cast over your bride and make her love you.
IMARI.
(Starting up, merrily)
Good! Go to her at once – she’s in there – cast your spell over her – make her love me – hurry up.
(Going to steps)
I’ll order her ladies to admit you at once.
(Calls off)
Here, Nami! Conduct this witch to Roli Poli San.
(On steps)
But you are sure you can do what you say?
MIMOSA.
The love charm has never failed yet.
(Exit into Palace)
IMARI.
Saved, and by a love charm! All except bridesmaids must now leave!
(Exit into Palace, followed by JULIETTE, ENGLISH PARTY and MEN.)
Enter MOLLY and MIMOSA.
MOLLY.
How do I know I can trust you – besides, you know, it was all through you I got into this scrape.
MIMOSA.
Yes, but when I told you to put on the kimono I didn’t know there was going to be a sale.
MOLLY.
No more did I. I say, didn’t I go cheap?
MIMOSA.
Now listen. You do not wish to marry this Marquis Imari?
MOLLY.
Not much.
MIMOSA.
Listen, all your English friends will be at the ceremony and they will rescue you. You know the French mousmé? She is most anxious to become a Marquise.
MOLLY.
I’m not jealous.
MIMOSA.
You must insist on one favour. He must let you have the French mousmé as a bridesmaid, then she will take your place during the ceremony. Do you think the Marquis will let you?
MOLLY.
He can’t refuse that. If he does, I shall treat him as the interfering parrot treated the canaries.
SONG – MOLLY and CHORUS
MOLLY.
A parrot once resided in a pretty gilded cage,
Sarcastic was his temper and uncertain was his age,
He knew that two canaries had apartments overhead,
Who’d only very recently been wed.
CHORUS.
They’d recently been wed.
MOLLY.
He kept an eye on all that they were doing –
CHORUS.
An interfering parrot in a nasty frame of mind.
MOLLY.
And vow’d he stop their billing and their cooing-
CHORUS.
Which really was exceedingly unkind.
Exceedingly unkind.
MOLLY.
Polly wink’d his eye and Polly gave a sigh,
And Polly took his best hat down;
He called on Mrs. C. and took a cup of tea
When Mr. C. had gone to town.
Then wisely shook his head
And seriously said:
(All this is spoken through the music imitating a parrot.)
“Well, husbands are a lot!
A pretty one you’ve got!
Such tales I never heard!
So dissolute a bird
I never met before,
What goings on! Oh lor!”
CHORUS.
Polly wink’d his eye, etc.
MOLLY.
He left the poor canary with her spirits rather low,
And when she got her husband home her tongue began to go.
In vain he tried caresses and attempted to deny -
The silly little girl began to cry.
CHORUS.
The bird began to cry.
MOLLY.
She told him that she knew he loved another –
CHORUS.
A shocking accusation for a little bird to make!
MOLLY.
And said she meant to go and see her mother,
CHORUS.
A very silly step for her to take!
A silly step to take.
MOLLY.
Polly wink’d his eye and Polly gave a sigh,
And Polly took his best hat down;
He knew there’d be a fuss so jumping on a bus
He called on Mr. C. in town.
Then wisely wagged his head
And seriously said:
“A pretty wife you’ve got!
I see you had it hot,
And, bless her heart, it’s true,
She’s just as bad as you!
Directly you are gone,
Oh, don’t she carry on!”
CHORUS.
Polly wink’d his eye, etc.
MOLLY.
Canary’s yellow countenance with jealousy was green,
And when he met his wife they had a nice domestic scene,
Till she with pocket handkerchief, and he with sullen scowl
They hurried off to Mr. Justice Owl.
CHORUS.
To Mr. Justice Owl!
MOLLY.
He granted a judicial separation,
CHORUS.
And all because of Polly’s unsubstantiated words!
MOLLY.
And now they live in icy isolation
CHORUS.
Two really very wretched little birds
Two wretched little birds!
MOLLY.
Polly wink’d his eye and Polly gave a sigh,
And Polly bought a special “Sun.”
He read the full report of what occurr’d in Court
And chuckled at the mischief done.
Then going off to bed
Contentedly he said:
“Thank goodness that’s all right!
I’ll get some sleep to-night
A thing I cannot do
When lovers bill and coo!
They won’t annoy a soul,
Poor Polly! Scratch a poll!
CHORUS.
Polly wink’d his eye, etc.
General exit. Enter 2 GUARDS, who take up positions R and L of the Palace.
Music: Japanese March. Enter TAKEMINI with cups on tray.
TAKEMINI.
(Comes down)
The wedding ceremony will now take place – the most exalted bride and her ladies.
Enter 4 ATTENDANTS, followed by CHORUS LADIES. Enter NAMI and JULIETTE. Enter MOLLY, under canopy, borne by 4 GEISHA, who keep close to her and won’t let her get away.
MOLLY.
(Pushes GEISHA aside)
Here, let me get out of this! I don’t want an umbrella, it isn’t raining.
Enter MIMOSA.
MIMOSA.
Little English girl!
MOLLY.
Oh, it’s you again!
MIMOSA.
Your English friends are here!
MOLLY.
Where?
Enter ENGLISH PARTY, headed by FAIRFAX and OFFICERS. MIMOSA beckons JULIETTE on, and whispers to her, gesticulating and pointing to canopy. Slight commotion in CHORUS as they know IMARI is coming. TAKEMINI goes up.
MIMOSA.
(To JULIETTE)
Now’s your chance! Go under that!
(Takes her to canopy.)
JULIETTE.
(Going to canopy)
A Marquise at last!
TAKEMINI.
(Coming down)
The Most Illustrious Bridegroom!
Enter IMARI, attended by GUARDS and KATANA. CHORUS MEN enter.
IMARI.
(Advancing)
Now let the ceremony proceed at once!
(To TAKEMINI)
Give me the cups!
(He takes a cup in each hand and beckons to GEISHA who advance with canopy. JULIETTE advances under it.)
Come here, my bride!
(Gives her cup)
Drink this and you will be my wife!
JULIETTE.
(Puts out her hand, takes cup, drinks)
I will make a most charmante bride, cher Marquis!
IMARI.
(Starting)
Who’s this?
JULIETTE appears, goes on her knees to him.
MIMOSA.
The French Mousmé, who will make the Most Noble Marquis a most perfect wife.
IMARI.
(Seriously)
No, I’m going to marry little Roli-Poli. There’s some mistake here.
MOLLY.
Yes, Marquis, you made the mistake. I don’t want to be one of twenty, you naughty old man – I want a young man of my own. You thought I’d marry a Japanese Marquis, when I can get an English sailor?
IMARI.
(Looking at JULIETTE)
Well, I’m rather disappointed. Still, I suppose every man is disappointed in his wife at some time or other.
MIMOSA.
(To FAIRFAX)
But Lieutenant Officer will never be disappointed with his little wife.
(To KATANA)
And no more will my Katana.
Enter WUN-HI, who prostrates himself at IMARI’S feet.
WUN-HI.
And what of poor honest Wun-Hi, who helpee gettee Most Noble the plenty fine wedding festivities and the welly best little wifee in Japan? What reward you givee me?
IMARI.
I knew you’d be involved in this somewhere! I know what I ought to give you…
(He is nudged by JULIEETE and given a hard stare.)
But, as it’s my wedding day, I’ll give you something else. You may have your Tea House licence back.
WUN-HI.
Wun-Hi gettee Tea House back? Wun-Hi welly welly happy! Hip, hip hullay!
MIMOSA.
So you see, English ladies and gentlemen, everybody is happy - and all because you were so kind to the Japanese Geisha!
FINALE
Politely dress’d
In all our best
The weddings we await,
And hope they won’t be late,
Or else forget the date.
What would be done if either one
Neglected to appear?
If somebody demurr’d
Or anything ocurr’d
With all to interfere?
Before our eyes
The prospect lies
Of rich and festive fare,
With cups of sake rare
To toast the happy pair.
No wonder then
That maids and men
Unite in Hymen’s praise,
And sing their joyous lays
With blushes all ablaze.
Happy Japan,
Garden of glitter!
Flower and fan
Flutter and flitter,
Land of bamboo,
(Juvenile whacker)
Porcelain too,
Tea-tray and lacquer!
Happy Japan, Happy Japan, Happy Japan!
CURTAIN
